Experimentation and Exhaustion

October 13, 2018

I've started working on a new project, as well as fiddle around with some short stories that I never really got finalized. The big difference between this new project (I'm assuming it'll be a novel-length project, but who knows at this point?) and anything I've previously written is that I'm trying to write the entire first, super messy draft by hand.

 

It's going pretty well, all things considered. Essentially, I've just boiled it down to writing random scenes as they come to me. So far I've got about eight big scenes planned out in my notebook, and in no particular order. And a whole lot more in my head in the form of, "this needs to happen, but I haven't figured out how to get there yet."

 

That said, I'm struggling to connect with it. I think the hardest part about transitioning between an old project and a new one is that you still have remnants of the old one stuck in your mind. I still find myself thinking about Alyssa's Playlist and to a lesser extent, Cody. I also find myself thinking about a few other story dumps that I wrote a couple years ago, wondering if anything about them could be salvaged and turned into a real book. (I suspect they could, but it would take work. I'm hopeful.) Which means my brain is working on several different things, even though my actual writing is focused on one thing.

 

That's part of the problem. The other part is that I've just been so busy that when I finally get a moment to myself, I'm exhausted. Last night, I fell asleep on my notebook mid-scene. An important scene too. I should have been more engaged. Earlier this week, I did the same thing and left an ink blot on the paper. 

 

Even now, I very much want to go upstairs and write for thirty minutes, but I just keep yawning.

 

It's the new school year, and I'm teaching full classes again. I didn't realize how spoiled I was last year, only teaching interventions (pull out groups of 6-10 students). My work load was a breeze last year, and consequently, I spent most of my "plan" time writing. Now though, I'm busy every second of every school day. The kids are wonderful, and I'm loving what I'm doing, but I have less time for my personal projects.

 

Also, I'm making a costume for my son for Halloween. I keep telling myself I need to get my act together and finish it so I can do something for the baby as well. Halloween is just around the corner. So most evenings, after the kids go to bed, I try to force myself to work on the costume. 

 

Basically, I feel like I'm doing a half-dozen jobs with less than stellar results. I'm beginning to think I need to manage my time/energy better. But maybe this is just what it feels like being a full-time working mom with two small children and attempting to get a book published.

 

Other full-time working moms, what do you think?

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